2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
