So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize