my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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