am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
