My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Can you repeat that, but with context?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
