You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
