Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
zippers are such a cool invention
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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