well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
