Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
