i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
