dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
