He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
