peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
