her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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