I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
