So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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