Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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