with your own penis?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
