This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
