I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
