He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
