as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
