I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
