Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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