I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
