living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize