They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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