I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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