how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
