Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
