she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
