i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
