Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
