Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize