awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize