i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
