last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
