East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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