Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
