girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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