Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
