You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
