now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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