remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
