I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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