i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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