your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
