AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
