Already got asked if we're dating
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
