just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
