You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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