Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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