Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You can't motorboat a personality
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize