I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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