nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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