can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Who died my cat blue again?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
