I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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