he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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