ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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