Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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